Ethnomusico - what?

I never aspired to be a rock star. I always loved music, and I played in the church growing up. But I wasn't a star.

I got a note from a college buddy the other day, saying, "I didn't know you were going to be a musician. When did this happen? What the hell?"

Yep, it's true. You're got a late bloomer on your hands.

The short version: When I went off to college, I picked Wake Forest, a good old Baptist school. I got a bachelor's degree in the completely safe and totally respectable field of political science. Then I graduated, and I was in love -- not with politics, but with a fella. So I worked for a while, then followed him. All the way to Australia.

The justification for me to go was that I got a fellowship at Australian National University to get a master's degree in ethnomusicology (a field just as obscure and random as it sounds).

But blah, blah, blah, fast-forward through the academia and romance (which ended). I realized only later that the whole expedition was about trying to justify my desire to be around music with enough distance to keep me categorized in people's minds as still on the Track to Succeed.

A degree in music, and being able to parse the social and political implications ofAustralian Aborigines' songs, is all well and good. To an honors-student kind of kid, it's the sort of thing you feel expected to do.

But here's what I found out: In terms of the real world and making a real difference there, ethnomusicological theory doesn't make it much further than the dinner table. I believe in the power of music, and more than anything I support Indigenous rights. But philosophizing about it doesn't change a thing.

People will play their music -- and along the way, use it to transform their communities and their lives -- whether we talk about it or not.

So, I knew. It was time to drop my tape recorder. And notebook. And observer's pen. It was time for me to do music.

And as soon as I got home to South Carolina, that's exactly what I did.

Freddie Jackson

One of the things about New York that takes some getting used to is just how much talent is here. I'm not talking about starring-in-your-school-play-and-your-mama-thinks-you're-wonderful talent, but jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring talent. It's a beautiful thing, but also a lesson in swallowing your pride. And forcing yourself to find confidence in an intimidating world.

I got my chance to grit my teeth and stare intimidation in the face within the first six months I was here, with a moment of weak-kneed glory at the Sugar Bar. You might know the place -- it's that bar on the Upper West Side run by R & B legends Ashford and Simpson. (Now that's a whole 'nother lesson in learning your place and your genre. But hey, I blame naivety.)

Sugar Bar hosts a famous open mic with a back-up band of top-tier talent, a luxury for New York songwriters accustomed to slugging through dungeon after dungeon in search of a beer bottle to vibrate with their vocals and give a halfway fuller sound.

The Sugar Bar house band is no joke.

The story goes like this ... I was in the very packed bar, watching Ashford and Simpson wander around (and sing backup) for a pretty impressive lineup of regulars. I'd made a point of making it to the open mic in the name of getting to know the New York music scene, and I'd put my name down on the want-to-sing roster. I watched the minutes tick by, and my hands get sweaty. Any second, I knew, my name could be called.

But nope: Suddenly, somebody made an announcement. Mr. Freddie Jackson, the voice said, was in the house. (Freddie Jackson? Remember him? And those parachute pants that seemed like a good idea back in the '80s?) The voice invited Freddie up to sing a song or two. So he hopped up on stage, said something about his upcoming album, then (smooth as silk, of course) breezed through a couple tunes.

Freddie Jackson is all pro, and it was obvious. He worked the crowd. He loved the crowd. And the crowd loved him. When he sat back down, he left them wanting nothing but more.

So. You can guess who got called up next, right?

When I finally came to and realized that the sound I heard was my own name ringing in my ears, I found myself standing at the back of the room, still dazed at the fact that Freddie Jackson had just passed by four tables in front of me. I think the next thing I did -- and I'm still not sure about this -- was start to almost choke.

Me? I thought. They wanted me?

I understand that I had a lesson to learn, but really. I had to follow Freddie Jackson? What a cruel, cruel world.

I won't bore you with details of my actual performance. It was, by any stretch of the imagination, less than stellar. I was petrified. But I started and ended with the band, and I got through it.

When I walked away, I knew more than ever that the music industry requires nerves of steel. I reckon it was as good a time as any to learn.