The Rising of the Bread

"Well just a regular Martha Stewart you are," was Boyfriend's comment (in a fabulous Brooklyn accent) when he got up Sunday morning to find me with bread dough rising in the fridge.  And he particularly enjoyed the fact that I was happy as a clam about it even if I did get up before 7am on a weekend to revel in a cloud of flour in the kitchen.  Now, granted, Martha Stewart I am not because the bread didn't rise and despite my efforts to instill edible miracle grow on it, came out of the oven as a much harder and slightly browner brick of dough than it was going in.  But I still ate a couple of bites to prove that it was edible before chucking the rest.

I had a blast this weekend cooking up a storm.  There was risotto, quiche and meatloaf.  Yummy.  I surprise myself at how domestic I can be sometimes.  But I've realized cooking is very therapeutic and rather than paying to sit on some one's couch I get to eat the results!  One day I'm sure my waistline won't be as forgiving, but for now I'm going to enjoy every bite.  And it's fun to share.  I love making other people smile... sometimes to a fault.  I can't decide if most creative types are people-pleasers or not.  

I'd be very curious to know because there's a great deal of risk in exposing a part of yourself in something like a song you've written, yet the goal is for people to appreciate it.  Do I have to be the rebel who believes in my creative genius and doesn't give a hoot about other's opinions?  I hope not, because to a certain extent I definitely care.  Actually, I care to a really large extent.   Because if you're not enjoying it, what's the point?   Plus, I don't want to be one of those creative types holed up like a hermit squirreling away at my next epic with unwashed hair and funny glasses on the brink of a psychotic state.  The trick for me is not letting a fear of failure paralyze me from creating something new that is inevitably less than perfect.  

But in all it's imperfection, music has a way of bringing out emotions, sparking memories.  There are certain songs that will always bring a tear to my eye.  How does that happen?? It's really a mystery that the combination of words and a melody can have such a powerful effect.  But as long as it does, the people-pleaser in me will keep striving to make people smile, maybe even bring a tear to their eye with songs that soothe and make each day just a little brighter.  Kind of like waking up to the smell and taste of my bread will next Sunday morning if I can just get the damn stuff to rise...