The real deal

Sometimes I feel like I have split personality disorder, trying to divide my time between the world of my daytime job (young professionals) and my nighttime gigs (the New York music scene). This gap is always made ridiculously apparent on the last Monday of the month, the night the Songwriters Circle meets at the Red Lion.

The Songwriters Circle is put on by my mentor, Ann Ruckert, along with the Songwriters Guild, 13 Stories Records and the Johnny Mercer Foundation. And it is one of the premier musicians' events in the city. I've been going for quite some time -- for about a year, not playing at all -- and then I got asked to do one song as a "guest performer" every now and then. Recently, I've had the chance to sit on stage and be part of a round. Progress is being made.

This is a huge honor for me, and an incredible opportunity to hear and be heard by some of the industry's greats. Just this past week I was on stage and Phoebe Snow was in the audience. If you don't know her, look her up. You won't regret it.

Phoebe Snow is one of those people who makes you realize what it really takes. She gets on stage to sing a tune and when she opens her mouth, heads literally turn. Without realizing it you sit up in your chair and the hairs on your arms stand on end. It's a soul stirring experience. When she stops you instinctively stand and applaud, not out of politeness or obligation, but to show her how moved you are. She's beautiful, powerful and funky -- all in one breath. She has something incredibly special that sets her apart from the rest. I felt lucky to have had the opportunity just to listen.

Which brings me back to myself, the underling, on stage in my suit -- yes, blazer and pants -- because I come to the Circle straight from work. Which means I have to fight to be funky. It's hard to feel the music like Phoebe Snow does when you just commuted in from Manhattan corporate.

By day, it's all about detachment and reasoning. By night, I've got to make the switch to open up to feeling. To put all I've got into the next note.

Recently I've made a push to really work on this, to let go of professional demeanor come 6 o'clock, and occasionally I have a glimmer of success. One of the times this happens best is whenever I'm playing a song written by my good friend Todd Bird. It's called "A Part of You Loves Me," a beautiful tune, and it's one that lets me lose myself ... you can hear it by clicking here.

This is a live recording from the Songwriters Circle, but I'm hoping to do a professional one soon. And hopefully it will help remind me to quit being so concerned about whether or not my pants are starched.